The only way such a hypercompetitive narcissitic nutjob like Sarah Palin would quit her important executive position, on a Friday, before a holiday, hopefully when no one is watching, is if there is something REALLY BAD ABOUT HER about to come out. This week, she was de-boned in a Vanity Fair article that effectively cataloged [...]
“I, Abraham Tiberius Stalin, do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the Office of Dictator of the Internet, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend all the crappy blogs, snarky ignorant article comments, stock forums, and alt-porn that the web has to offer.”
The oath was flubbed earlier and to [...]
Well you did it. Big Brother told you over a month ago to go out and buy a big screen TV. Circuit City was in trouble and the US economy depended on you, the American consumer, to pull it out of the ditch, but you were all too worried about your own jobs, or where [...]
Big Brother has spent literally hundreds of hours flying thousands of miles in the last few years, occasionally having to settle for business class on a commercial airliner. Before every commercial flight the flight attendants go through the boring instructions about what to do in case of a water landing. You probably never paid much [...]
Poor kitty! The Bush family cat died. Citing family privacy issues, the U.S. Department of Defense denied requests by national news organizations to take photographs of the flag-draped pet coffin en route to to the Arlington National Pet Cemetary. Somehow this all seems familiar.
MSNBC just interviewed a young man claiming to be a Republican at Morehouse College, a traditionally black college in Atlanta. Big Brother admires the reporting prowess of the blond chick from basic cable’s premier liberal news outlet in finding such a rare speciman. The young man in question said he was in fact a registered [...]
Captain Yossarian from Catch-22 via Don’t Bet On It contributes the following insight on election day:
“We won’t lose. We’ve got more men, more money, and more material. There are ten million men in uniform who could replace me. Some people are getting killed and a lot more are making money and having fun. Let somebody [...]
Starbucks Coffee fell afoul of election laws by offering a free cup of coffee to anyone who voted today. It turns out you are not allowed to offer any inducement to voting: it smacks of Boss Tweed in 1860’s New York (did anyone at corporate headquarters in Seattle ever see Gangs of New York?).
Anyhow, [...]
It has been reported by MSNBC that Senator Barack Obama’s grandmother who DIED YESTERDAY cast a vote for her grandson. This is the most blatant attempt yet by ACORN to STEAL THE ELECTION and such reproachful actions cannot be tolerated. Big Brother demands that Senator Obama’s grandma’s vote be invalidated!
Stay Tuned as this story gets [...]
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