Big Brother retakes the Oath of Office as Internet Dictator
By bigbrother ~ January 21st, 2009. Filed under: NEWS FLASH!.
“I, Abraham Tiberius Stalin, do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the Office of Dictator of the Internet, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend all the crappy blogs, snarky ignorant article comments, stock forums, and alt-porn that the web has to offer.”
The oath was flubbed earlier and to cover all the bases it has been recommended that Your Internet Dictator retake it. Apparently, Big Brother was not alone in screwing up his oath yesterday. Please be assured that the oath made yesterday was sufficient, the re-taking is just a formality. The internet was not without its dictator.
That Is All,
Big Brother
Posts
February 6th, 2009 at 12:45 pm
Questions requiring answers:
1. The person who administered the oath of office was?
a. Robby the Robot
b. A mirror
c. A real live human being
2. The person holding the bible, the koran, or the Benjamin Franklin note that Abe placed his hand on when he took the oath was?
a. Mrs. Stalin (as is traditional)
b. The former hat check girl at the now-closed Rainbow Room
c. Your hand was busy elsewhere
3. Tiberius?
4. Did your oath of protection include the following: Moveon.org? Rushlimbaugh.com?
March 14th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
Alt-porn? What is it? Is this a new type of porn site? Is it free access? I’m very excited. Hail Dictator of the Internet!!!