Buy a Chrysler, a Bose, and a Starbuck’s!
By bigbrother ~ November 12th, 2008. Filed under: Daily Communique.
Second largest U.S. electronics retailer Circuit City might not make it through the holidays; main competitor Best Buy will survive but is not sanguine about its profit numbers this year. Unless if you were heavily invested in retailer stocks (the New York Stock exchange halted trading in CC shares when they fell to 10 cents on Monday) you must have some extra money lying around. Check in-between the cushions of your couch! Bring those old soda cans in the basement back to the supermarket because America needs you!
The big two and a half U.S. automakers are not in good shape either. Americans bought sixty percent fewer F-150’s, S-10’s, Impala’s, Chargers and Tauri last month (Hey, did you know Ford still makes the Taurus?). Big Brother will not be buying an American-made car, because Your Internet Dictator develops contact dermatitis from leather interiors made of non-Scandinavian cattle hides, but a shiny new Clearwater Blue Pearl Coat Chrysler Sebring should suit you Joe Six-Packs just fine and will probably serve you reliably for at least two years. (Or maybe not, the Sebring only has a two star J.D. Power quality ranking.)
While it may make sense for you to save money in trying economic times, you must understand you are hurting the economy more and undermining capitalism and democracy. You, the American consumer, were there on September 12th when your country needed you the most. Where are you now, on November 5th, when a socialist is about to enter the White House?
That is all,
Big Brother
Posts
January 16th, 2009 at 1:01 pm
[...] you did it. Big Brother told you over a month ago to go out and buy a big screen TV. Circuit City was in trouble and the US economy depended on you, the American consumer, to pull it [...]
January 20th, 2009 at 6:37 pm
[...] its purchase of a 35% stake in Chrysler Corporation, doing what you would not. Big Brother has been telling you for months that you, the American consumer, need to save the American auto industry by buying their [...]
March 4th, 2009 at 11:08 am
Hot dog Nevada! It didn’t purchase a 35% stake it agreed to accepting a 35% stake. I’d wager if it were offered, Abe would take a free 35% stake also.