The First Crisis of the Obama Presidency
By bigbrother ~ November 10th, 2008. Filed under: Bonus.
Big Brother was in California last week. When in the neighborhood he always takes time out to have lunch with First Lady Nancy Reagan (her husband may no longer be president but Big Brother will always consider her The First Lady). She was of course, as always, resplendent in red, but she was not in a good mood.
Earlier in the day President-designate Barack Obama provided a vivid example of why he avoided saying anything to the press for the last two months. Apparently, after all that time staying mum, the Senator was just dying to say something stupid. With the electorate having made their decision two days previous, Senator Obama wasted no time in “Pullin’ a Biden” and promptly placed a size twelve high-top in between his two rows of perfectly-spaced immaculately white teeth. Without going into detail that would further besmirch the reputation of our beloved Lady in Red, the President-designate had made an unfortunate reference in his first post-election press conference where he confused Mrs. Reagan’s responsible employment of soothsayers with the reckless spiritualism practiced in the Clinton White House.
“Please don’t let this bother you for even another minute Mrs. Reagan, I’ll call the Senator and straighten this out,” offered Big Brother.
The Senator is obviously extremely busy these days and did not answer his cell phone, so Big Brother left a slightly harsh message suggesting that the President-designate call back as soon as possible. Big Brother and the First Lady were playing a friendly real-American game of lawn darts on the Bermuda grass in the Reagan compound when the return call came in the early afternoon. Big Brother excused himself to talk briefly with Senator Obama.
“What the hell, Senator? Are trying to get back at Mrs. Reagan for endorsing McCain? Maybe, in your next press conference you can say something about Betty Ford’s drinking problem, or maybe you can insinuate that Hillary Clinton’s a bitch again.
Or you can send out an email with a picture of Jackie Kennedy smoking while she’s pregnant! Hey, Laura Bush once killed a guy with her car, you could talk about that!”
“I know, I know, Big Brother. That was really bone –headed of me. I’m just not good when I ad-lib. I should really not try to be funny. Is the First Lady there? I would really like to apologize,” responded the President-designate.
“You’re going to give the apology of your life Senator. Don’t you say another word to make her feel bad. Who do you think you are Kitty Kelly?” instructed Big Brother.
“No, no, of course not.”
Big Brother re-joined the First Lady and handed her the phone. Hearing just Mrs. Reagan’s side of the conversation, it was obvious that the Senator was laying it on thick. The First Lady was ladling generous servings from her endless supply of grace. Even when obviously wronged, that fine lady has more regal bearing than the late Queen-Mother. She and President-designate Obama spoke for about ten minutes, when she was done she said the final thing any of us will ever hear from her about the whole situation: “Well, he was very nice, and I’m so glad we can put all that behind us.”
That is all,
Big Brother
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