Barack Obama Wins, South Carolina Secedes from Union.
By bigbrother ~ October 27th, 2008. Filed under: Daily Communique.
Big Brother is making the call early. Which elements of this story will be true on November 5th?
With Barack Obama’s clear electoral victory last night, the South Carolina General Assembly convened at the Statehouse in Columbia for a midnight session and voted to unilaterally and immediately secede from the United States of America. Units of the South Carolina National Guard, since renamed “The State Militia of Free South Carolina”, began bombardment of Fort Sumter in Charleston Harbor and demanded the unconditional surrender of the National Park Service contingent on the island.
While, Fort Sumter has no military significance, and currently serves as a historic memorial and tourist destination, the South Carolina Governor has marked it a legitimate target. Mark Sanford, who ordered the action by the State National Guard, spoke on Fox and Friends this morning: “The National Park Service is part of the Department of the Interior within the Executive Branch, and the thought of one square inch of God-fearing South Carolinian soil under the command of that n___ terrorist is too much for the white… uh, righteous sons and daughters of Dixie to bear. We did it back in 1860 when the despot Lincoln was elected, and we fought to keep our schools and drinking fountains pure back in the 60’s. This is no different. This tyranny of the Northern aggressor will not stand. The East coast elites and mainstream media don’t speak for us! I swear today on the bones of Strom Thurmond that the South will remain forever free!”
George W. Bush, in an address from the Rose Garden stressed that America should remain calm and added: “Now, secession by a state, I’ve been told that’s illegal. But by my reckoning, any military action by my office is also illegal, and being that I’m a strict constructionist I just don’t see what part the Federal government has in this whole thing.”
Meanwhile, Barack Obama has made his own statement filled with soaring rhetoric but little real substance.
This is a developing news story, and will be updated as the situation warrants.
That is All,
Big Brother
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November 3rd, 2008 at 1:45 am
“A liberally educated person meets new ideas with curiosity and fascination. An illiberally educated person meets new ideas with fear.” Vice Admiral James Bond Stockdale (yes that James Stockdale)