3 A.M.
By bigbrother ~ October 23rd, 2008. Filed under: Bonus.
Big Brother has obtained the script of a campaign ad the RNC will air in Virginia, North Carolina, Florida and Missouri the week before the election. Big Brother would like to take this opportunity to remind the Republicans of the meaning of a pyrrhic victory.
(Script approved RNC: Operation Get Out the RIGHT Vote 2008. For release Oct. 28. TREAT AS TOP SECRET before Oct. 27)
EXT: Wide shot of the White House at night.
V.O. Announcer: On November 4th you have to decide who you want answering the 3 A.M. phone call we all FEAR may come someday.
SFX: [phone ringing]
INT: Tight shot of bed with two people lying in it, focus shifts to ringing phone on the nightstand. A dark hand reaches for the phone, knocking over Old English 40-ounce bottle on nightstand.
V.O. Announcer: We need to be able to trust the judgment of the person who answers that call.
President Obama (look-alike shown in silhouette): (shouting into phone) WHOIZIT?!
(pause, the President listens to the person on other end of the line)
President Obama : WHAT?!
(pause)
President Obama : HE DID WHA?! AWWW HELL NO! DAT MESS’D UP! DAT SOME BU[bleep]!
(pause)
President Obama : WHAT THE F[bleep]?!
(pause)
President Obama : (speaking quieter) Did you call A-Ree and Right-Z? Whadidey say?
(pause)
President Obama : Aww sh[bleep]… Aww (laughing) yeah, yeah it sound like dem.
(pause)
President Obama : So dey got it unda control?
(pause)
President Obama : Naw, Naw, Naw, thanks for callin’… Yeah, yeah keepin’ me in da loop.
(pause)
President Obama : Naw, you can call me early tomorrow. Yeah I gotta get up early anyway, take Mich-Che-Che and da babies ta church.
[First Lady Michelle Obama, still lying facedown in bed , raises arm straight out, she and the President do a fist bump]
President Obama (into phone): Yeah, peace. Out.
Blue Screen with Text: VOTE FOR EXPERIENCE on November 4th
V.O. Announcer: We need to TRUST The Person who answers that call will not revert to cursing, jive talk and urban slang when startled by a 3 A.M. phone call. Please, vote for experience on November 4th.
(Script approved RNC: Operation Get Out the RIGHT Vote 2008. For release Oct. 28. TREAT AS TOP SECRET before Oct. 27)
Jive talk? Whoever wrote this script learned everything they know about black people from reruns of The Jeffersons.
That is All,
Big Brother
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